Cat
by red-lunar-eclipse
Summary: Jerry and Morty have to rehome a cat.


"Meow! MROWWW!"

A cacophany of horrific cat noises could be heard from outside, surrounding the house in a Cat Armageddon. Cats threw themselves against the windows and tried to claw their way in through the crack under the door. The toilet seat had bricks on it just in case.  
"Where did all these cats come from?! I can't even get out of the house without being swatted," Jerry asked desperately while squeezing past a frenzy of claws that snagged his pantleg on his way in.

"Hey, it's Tom and Jerry," Summer snickered. "Or you could say it's a SWAT team?" she tried to make a joke. No one laughed. She came forward with a broom to push the creature back from Jerry and the doorway. "Some lady across the street gave us a cat and she's in heat. Her name's Jingly!" she explained and pointed over her shoulder adoringly.

Sitting on the back of the couch was a plain gray tabby licking her paws.

The cat hopped down and sauntered accross the room, putting like a motorboat as she went up to the person who least wanted to pet her. She rubbed against Jerry's pantleg where the outside cat had snagged him.

Morty walked by with his phone. "Got a response! He says we can bring Jingly by tonight. He, he already has a cat who needs a friend," he said with a smile as he read the email they had gotten from the ad they posted on craigslist.

"Perfect! You can dad can drop her off at her new home. I'll deal with the cats in the garage," Summer suggested as if it was nothing.

A few hours of chasing a cat around the house later, Jerry and Morty buckled into the car with the cat in the back seat, and scratches all over them.  
Jerry's face sported a wide accomplished smile.  
On the way out the driveway, Morty looked at the email again to get the address.  
That was when he noticed it... "Uhh... says his name is Gore God. What, what kind of name is that?"

Jerry held the steering wheel with a firm and confident smile, confident that they were getting rid of this cat tonight. "Maybe that's his last name. Like the guy who invented global warming."

"Uh I don't think he, he invented that," Morty said, but was distracted. "His email is catsmasher69 ."

"Maybe it was one of those randomly generated emails they give you when your name is taken," Jerry assured as they drove further, taking a turn into a culdisac. The sky visibly darkened the further they went. Morty sat up to look out the window as they passed more and more buildings with bars accross the windows.

They eventually found the apartment complex and pulled into a poorly lit driveway, greeted by a grafitti laiden wall leading to a flimsy steel staircase. Jerry got out with Morty and the cat carrier and they made their way up the stairs to ring the bell.

"Maybe, maybe he's not home. We should, we should just go and find someone else to take the cat," Morty said with uncertainty as he looked at the door that featured a faded 'Fear This!' sticker and broken screen.  
"Nah, we're already here! It'll be fine," Jerry re-assured again and pressed the doorbell a second time.

Several minutes went by, and Jerry tapped his foot.  
Maybe they could just leave it here?  
No, that wasn't an option,  
But.  
He wasn't leaving with this cat. A look of determination fell over his face and he knocked.

After another few seconds, the door opened with a creek.

"Ah, hello!" a man greeted. He was a clean-shaven middle-aged man with a friendly smile, and he immediately leaned down to look into the carrier. "Hey there little kitty!" he said and then straightened to their level. "Come on in! I got some bagels. Freshly toasted. Made too many."

"I don't know, you know, we got dinner on the table and uhh gotta be back by nine, so... " Morty tried, pointing at his wrist where he lacked a watch and giving Jerry's shirt a hinting tug.

"Thanks. I could use a bagel!" Jerry promptly respnded and stepped inside. Against Morty's better judgement, he was dragged along.

Inside the house, it was almost pitch-black until the man turned on a light. The room was full of taxidermy sitting on and in the boxes.  
Morty's eyes widened and he held Jingly's carrier closer. "...You sure have a lot of dead animals." he commented.

"Yeah, they're my brother's. Not my thing," the man answered as they went in further towards the kitchem.

"You said you have a cat already?" Morty asked.

"Yeah, his name's Kitty," the man said as he got a knife and started cutting up and bagging some bagels for Jerry.

"Creative name. Can I meet him?" Morty asked.

"Afraid not. My girlfriend has him right now," the man replied.

"...Mind if I uhh, mind if I use your bathroom?" Morty then asked and made a beeline for it where the man pointed. Maybe there was a window he could jump out of or push Jingly through to freedom if this guy tried to murder them.

He walked in and saw blood in the sink. Everywhere. And knives on the counter and walls. "AH! What the hell is that?!" Morty yelled and clutched the cat carrier.

Jerry walked in to see what all the comootion was about, bagel in hand. "Whoa."

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. My girlfriend dyed her hair and apparently messed it all up," the man apologized with a frown.

Jerry took a bite of his bagel.

"That's it!" Morty yelled. He was fed up, done. "I've seen enough! You're not taking Jingly. You're weird. This neighborhood is sketchy. I'm outta here," he said and promptly turned, carrying the carrier as he went straight for the door.

Jerry shot him a stern frown. "Hey! That's not very nice. Jingly will be very happy here with... What's your name again?"

"Gore. Godfrey Gore," the man responded with a slight frown.

Morty wasn't having any of it, but as he reached for the door, it opened.

"I'm home!" a red-headed woman said from the doorway as she stepped inside, bumping into Morty. "Oh! Are you the one with the new cat?" she asked inquisitively.

She was holding a cat carrier under one arm, and a bottle of cleaner in the other.

"Kitty here had to go to the vet for his shots. Here you go, honey!" she said as she set the carrier on the floor and opened it for the kitten inside.

She looked up and wrinkled her nose at the taxidermy. "When's your brother going to get rid of these nasty things? Can we at least put them in the cat house?" she asked.

"You know they'll scratch them up. I don't like them either, but they'll be gone soon," Godfrey assured as he kissed his girlfriend on the cheek.

"Wait, cat house?" Morty asked, blown away by what he was seeing.

"Yeah, we run a cat sanctuary. Sorry I didn't mention it before. It's hard to find a place zoned for animals, but the city let's us have them here so we bought the whole apartment complex. I love cats and want to provide a haven for them."

"You love cats... and your email is catsmasher69?" Morty asked incredulously.

"Oh yeah, 69's my birth year. And I play Smash Brothers as a hobby. Ever heard of it?"

"Yeah."

"Who's your main?"

"Ness. I like the, the PK Fire thing. But wow seriously you, you had me going for a minute there. Sorry. I... I got you all wrong. I thought you were a monster." Morty said as he rubbed the back of his head, and set Jingly's carrier down.

"Same, I got you all wrong, too," Godfrey said with far less enthusiasm at what he was being told.  
"So you're a PK fire spammer..."  
He slowly picked up the carrier.  
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Morty stared, dumbfounded.  
"Oh-okay." was all he could say.  
Jerry made a disappointed sound as they left without all the bagels he was promised.  
But at least they rehomed a cat.


End file.
